Joy is not 'Perma-Happy' - Let's Take a Walk Along the Majestic Susquehanna River in Harrisburg, PA and Allow Me to Explain

The mighty Susquehanna River is a sight worth seeing. She is strong, winding, mysterious, and stretches like a playful 'y' over Pennsylvania extending into New York and down into Maryland. She's a lovely focal point of Harrisburg, PA. River Front Park nestled along Front Street and the river bank offers green space, local artwork, and walking trails that meander above her banks. On the South end of Front Street, you will find the backdrop of historic city buildings such as the emerald-topped state capitol building, the Art Deco-Style marble courthouse, and the Baroque Revival Style granite Catholic Cathedral. There's also an iron footbridge that leads you to City Island where the Pride of the Susquehanna Riverboat waits to give passengers a new vantage point of her beauty. To the North, you will find Fort Hunter, a historically preserved farm with a stone mansion, barn with a model train display, a covered bridge leading to a drained manmade canal, views of the Rockville Bridge, the longest stone masonry arch railroad viaduct bridge ever built, and of course, opportunities to get up close with the river with walking paths that lead up to the water's edge. It's winter here. The ground is snow-covered and it's a bright sunny day with blue skies and beaming sunrays that dance off the water. With a beautiful backdrop such as this, how could anyone not be happy? Let's explore this.

Everyone talks about wanting a happy life. Wanting to be happy. The pursuit of happiness in life. Here's what I've learned about happiness over the years. We get confused. Happiness just like sadness or anger, disappointment, fear, loss, excitement, pride, accomplishment, satisfaction, etc. are emotions. We can feel hundreds of emotions in a given day and oftentimes multiple even conflicting emotions all at once. Emotions are not sustainable. Emotions are not always trustworthy. Emotions are not grounding or foundational. They are simply a mode of expressing what we are feeling. They are not good or bad, shameful or harmful. And they are meant to change often because they are influenced by our thoughts and experiences.

When people idealize happiness as the ultimate way of being, they tend to go into a state of what I call PermaHappy. It's basically like wearing a mask to hide your true feelings, wants, and needs and projecting a perfectly happy life. This is so unhealthy and damaging to our spirit. We are not made to be permanently happy, we are not made to be perfect. As humans, we have a vast variety of emotions for a reason and we are perfectly flawed in every way and that's okay. It's a beautiful gift being human and being able to feel, and make mistakes and learn and forgive and grow. My question is, why would we want to deprive ourselves of this gift? I think it has to do with pressure and pride. We want to live up to these standards society places on us. We don't want to be different and looked down on or judged. We all want to look the part of living a happy life with everything perfectly in place. Just take a peek around social media at all the smiling, happy people and families and trips and lifestyles. Now, I'm not saying that we can't be happy and take happy photos. Of course, we can. I'm saying that's not the norm of everyday life. Anyone can tell you, if they are being honest that life is really hard. It's a struggle. It takes a lot to keep going every day even under the best circumstances. I believe that's because we are here to evolve, to learn, and to grow and the only way to do that is to be met regularly with some kind of adversary, catalyst, challenge, or obstacle. I like the expression, you can't get too comfortable. It makes me laugh because I find it so telling of life in a lot of ways. Did you have those moments where everything was just right and then BAM. It never fails. A good concrete example, for me of this is doing any activity involving momentum and balance. Take skiing for example, I get myself together and start heading down the mountain in perfect form and I start thinking to myself, 'Wow, I really got this." Right at that moment without fail I crash and burn. This is true for ice skating, roller skating, skateboarding, etc. It's that moment in life where you, actually think you have it together, everything is working and you are in complete control. Life comes in and smacks you on your butt or rolls you down a hill. It's a helping of humble pie and we all get some from time to time especially when our egos get the better of us. There is always going to be more to learn because life is not about mastery, it's about progress.

Okay, so with that in mind let's look at joy. Joy is how I describe my constant state of being. To me, joy is foundational. It is grounding. It is a mindset. It is that light within you, that spark that will never go out regardless of how you are feeling in a given moment. When I first read, The Book of Joy, I really had a hard time understanding this notion. I just kept thinking how am I supposed to feel a spark inside all the time? I feel numb, on guard, afraid, and sad. The difference between that first reading and now is years and a complete transformation of my life. Finding that spark within you requires the right environment, being brutally honest about your current state and your wants and needs, investing in your healing, and being true to your authentic self. See joy is your essence, your spirit, your origin. If you are living in a way that starves, threatens, or damages your joy it will be very hard to tap into. The same with peace. I believe peace and joy are one. They fit perfectly together however the only way to access them is to create an environment where they are allowed to exist in the open and they are nourished by your actions, your daily habits, your thoughts, and your boundaries.

Happiness is an emotion that comes and goes with many other emotions. Joy and peace are a deliberate, intentional, focused, energetic, and daily mindset. They take an enormous amount of dedication and work. You have to prioritize them over everything else. You have to wake up and choose them every day. You have to put in the time and effort to nourish, protect, and care for them. If you do the reward is incredible.

I'll try to describe what it does for your life. What it's done for my life. I woke up this morning feeling pressure to get my many tasks started, I felt sad because I miss my son who is with his dad this weekend, I felt torn about which task to begin first, I felt a little achy because my body is getting older, I felt excitement for my morning coffee, I felt a little frustrated over cleaning the kitchen before I could have my coffee as well as many other emotions as I started my day. Now, let's look at the backdrop of my mindset of peace and joy

this morning. I woke up, opened my eyes, and felt deeply grateful to be alive. I felt content in my heart. I felt a resolve and an understanding that I would not face this day alone. I felt comforted and held. I thought about the snow on the ground and beautiful streams of sunlight coming through my window and I felt inspired. Joy and peace are in the background of my experiences, thoughts, and emotions throughout the day. It's what grounds me, sustains me, gives me hope, and makes me peacefully interact with the world. It allows me to observe, consider, and respond as opposed to making assumptions, giving in to emotions, and reacting. Peace and joy give me self-control and discipline. What I have found that is worth striving towards in this life is not happiness. I don't want a happy, comfortable, easy life. I want a life filled with growth and learning and opportunities and failures and successes. I want a life marked by joy and peace so that I can grow and learn and teach.